That's what my lovely husband (Mr A) asked me a couple of nights ago. After more than 3 years TTC, you would have thought he would know better. If there was a sharp object within reach, he could have been in serious trouble.
Had a visit from AF late on Wednesday night. It was a bit more painful than usual and I was having a woe is me moment. Then the tears started, and I was going on and on about not wanting to go through more IVF blah blah blah. I was having a bad night. Then I get a "honey, are you hormonal?" WTF? Does he not value his life?
I've been feeling a bit ordinary since. Really emotional. I feel like I have had enough of this assisted conception thing and I want to get on with my life. Work is giving me the shits and I want to find a new job. But how can I when I need time off for IVF? A new employer wouldn't appreciate me having days off at a time when I have egg collection, or having to duck out for other random appointments. Why do I worry about how this will effect everyone else but myself? Maybe I should just do what I have to do in order to keep myself happy and bugger everyone else.
I will probably be ok again in a couple of days. I just need to suck it up and get on with it. Stim #4 in July. I have to do it. I can't put it off any longer.
Oh, and the herbs still suck!!
Friday, June 13, 2008
Monday, June 9, 2008
Herbs
As I mentioned in my last post, I have been seeing a naturopath for a couple of months.
She has had me make a few dietary changes. Nothing major, just more regular snacking, more protein, more substantial breakfast and some vitamins. Well she has given me something new.
I had an appointment with her on Saturday and she has prescribed me some liquid herbs. My charting that I have been doing for her shows that I dont ovulate until at least day 19. She's not happy with this and thinks it's too late and wants to bring it forward a bit. This is where the herbs come in - they're supposed to help in that area.
She told me they taste like boiled up car tyres. Well, she was wrong!! They taste so much worse. I only have to have 75ml which sounds like nothing. I follow it with a chaser of pineapple juice but it still takes half an hour to get rid of the taste. It's disgusting.
Today I am on CD 33 and 13DPO. I only know this because I am charting for my naturopath. I charted for the first 2 years we were TTC and my luteal phase was 10-11 days. I'm excited to be at 13DPO. Either what the naturopath has me doing is actually helping things, or I'm pregnant!! HA! I don't even have pee sticks in the house as I refuse to waste my money anymore. For someone who has always been concerned about luteal phase length, it's exciting to get to 13DPO!
She has had me make a few dietary changes. Nothing major, just more regular snacking, more protein, more substantial breakfast and some vitamins. Well she has given me something new.
I had an appointment with her on Saturday and she has prescribed me some liquid herbs. My charting that I have been doing for her shows that I dont ovulate until at least day 19. She's not happy with this and thinks it's too late and wants to bring it forward a bit. This is where the herbs come in - they're supposed to help in that area.
She told me they taste like boiled up car tyres. Well, she was wrong!! They taste so much worse. I only have to have 75ml which sounds like nothing. I follow it with a chaser of pineapple juice but it still takes half an hour to get rid of the taste. It's disgusting.
Today I am on CD 33 and 13DPO. I only know this because I am charting for my naturopath. I charted for the first 2 years we were TTC and my luteal phase was 10-11 days. I'm excited to be at 13DPO. Either what the naturopath has me doing is actually helping things, or I'm pregnant!! HA! I don't even have pee sticks in the house as I refuse to waste my money anymore. For someone who has always been concerned about luteal phase length, it's exciting to get to 13DPO!
In a nutshell....
I've been reading a lot of blogs for the last few months, and I thought it would be a great way for me to try and keep track of things as they happen. I'm also hoping to lend support and meet a few lovely ladies along the way!
It's been 3 and a half years on this TTC and IVF rollercoaster. I wont go through all the details in my first post because it will take a week to get it all down!! And I don't want anyone falling asleep reading my blog (but apologies if you do!)
Started TTC in Jan 2005 when I was 28. Saw FS after 18 months of no pregnancy and went straight on to IVF. All of our tests came back normal so there is no known reason for us not falling pregnant.
First IVF cycle was in September 2006. In that cycle and the following FET cycle, I had a low hcg reading. I was convinced I was pregnant after the FET. Strong symptoms, double pink lines, but it was not to be. Two more stims and 2 more FET cycles followed, all with heartbreaking results.
The last FET was only 2 months ago. They had to thaw our remaining 3 frozen embryos to get one good one, but it didn't stick. So, now we're back to square one.
My FS sent me for a number of blood tests after that FET. Mostly related to immune system and blood clotting conditions. One of my blood clotting tests came back highly abnormal. Finally I thought we were getting some answers. Three specialist appointments later and more blood tests reveal that the lab made an error and there in fact was nothing wrong with me. A mistake?? 3 weeks of me thinking I was dying or had some terrible disease, and hundreds of dollars in appointments to find out that they made a mistake?!!! They tried to charge me for these tests would you believe. You can imagine what I had to say about that!!
So, we're still back to the beginning with no answers. I've been seeing a naturopath for a couple of months. Something else to do between IVF I guess. After all this time, I need to feel like I'm doing something. I can't just sit back and wait and hope that nature can take it's course.
I've just turned 32. I started this when I was 28 and I feel that time is a-tickin'! We always wanted a large family, and still can't believe we are having so much trouble having one baby. It's not meant to be like this.
It's been 3 and a half years on this TTC and IVF rollercoaster. I wont go through all the details in my first post because it will take a week to get it all down!! And I don't want anyone falling asleep reading my blog (but apologies if you do!)
Started TTC in Jan 2005 when I was 28. Saw FS after 18 months of no pregnancy and went straight on to IVF. All of our tests came back normal so there is no known reason for us not falling pregnant.
First IVF cycle was in September 2006. In that cycle and the following FET cycle, I had a low hcg reading. I was convinced I was pregnant after the FET. Strong symptoms, double pink lines, but it was not to be. Two more stims and 2 more FET cycles followed, all with heartbreaking results.
The last FET was only 2 months ago. They had to thaw our remaining 3 frozen embryos to get one good one, but it didn't stick. So, now we're back to square one.
My FS sent me for a number of blood tests after that FET. Mostly related to immune system and blood clotting conditions. One of my blood clotting tests came back highly abnormal. Finally I thought we were getting some answers. Three specialist appointments later and more blood tests reveal that the lab made an error and there in fact was nothing wrong with me. A mistake?? 3 weeks of me thinking I was dying or had some terrible disease, and hundreds of dollars in appointments to find out that they made a mistake?!!! They tried to charge me for these tests would you believe. You can imagine what I had to say about that!!
So, we're still back to the beginning with no answers. I've been seeing a naturopath for a couple of months. Something else to do between IVF I guess. After all this time, I need to feel like I'm doing something. I can't just sit back and wait and hope that nature can take it's course.
I've just turned 32. I started this when I was 28 and I feel that time is a-tickin'! We always wanted a large family, and still can't believe we are having so much trouble having one baby. It's not meant to be like this.
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